Have you ever met someone who was in a one-sided relationship? Maybe it was you and you were doing all the heavy lifting. You were investing all the emotional energy, all the time and maybe even all your money. One-sided relationships aren’t balanced and those relationships definitely don’t produce reciprocity when only one person is “carrying” it.
Our relationship with God requires reciprocity. God is quite capable of doing all the heavy lifting. He does it all the time. He knows our hearts.
But it’s not what He desires for us. He wants more. He wants more than our breadcrumbs.
The 10 Signs
Which One or Two or Three…or More Do You Resonate With?
1. You rarely connect with God.
2. You prefer to hang out with friends more than with God.
3. You are annoyed you have to make time for God.
4. You are not excited about making plans to be with God.
5. You are losing interest in your relationship with God.
6. You’ve stopped caring.
7. You are taking God for granted.
8. Your relationship with God isn’t working.
9. You are just not trying anymore.
10. You are giving God breadcrumbs.
But you always know where you stand with God. You are loved, you are forgiven, and you are so important to Him, that He gave His life for you.
“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.Romans 5:8 ESV
Are we breadcrumbing our relationship with God? Are we non-committal? Do we make our relationships with our spouse or our friends more important? Do we give more of us to our other relationships than we give to God? Is it all about us?
Our relationship with God is the most important relationship in our life and it informs every other relationship. He longs for a deep and growing relationship with each of us because He knows what is best for us and through that relationship, He reveals more about who He is and what He knows we need and don’t need. He wants more than breadcrumbs and He deserves more than breadcrumbs.
If you feel like any one of the 10 signs could be you, and that you are breadcrumbing your relationship with God, this is the time to get intentional.
How to Give More Than BreadCrumbs
Remind yourself that you are in a relationship with the God of the universe. if you have by faith placed your trust in what Jesus did on the cross for you, and believe that He made a way for you to be in a relationship with Him, then it’s time to give that relationship more than breadcrumbs.
Talk to God. Tell Him you recognize that He has been doing all the heavy lifting. Thank Him for giving His best ALL OF THE TIME. Thank Him for making a way to be in relationship with Him and take to heart that the God of the universe WANTS to be in a relationship with you.
Make time for your relationship with God because this is a relationship like no other in your life. This relationship is one of love, forgiveness, mercy and grace ALL THE TIME. God will never gaslight your relationship, he will never breadcrumb your relationship and he will always be present.
Your Coaching Moment
If you and I were in a coaching conversation and this was your presenting issue, breadcrumbing your relationship with God, here are some coaching questions I would ask to help you discover your why, your what and your how so you can be intentional to grow and deepen your relationship with God. Take some time to jot these questions down in a journal or notebook so you can write your answers down. That will help move you toward giving God more than breadcrumbs.
Your Why Questions:
- What makes breadcrumbing God important to you?
- What do you really want in your relationship with God?
- What is at stake for you?
- What are you afraid might happen?
- If you had a close relationship with God, what would that look like?
Your What Questions:
- What relationships do you give most of your time to?
- What makes you give most of your time to them?
- In order for those relationships to thrive, what needs to be put to death and what needs to be brought to life?
- What do you value about being in a relationship with the God of the universe?
Your How Questions:
- Has your perspective changed regarding your relationship with God?
- How do you see your relationship with God now based on your new perspective?
- What do you want for your future?
- What do you need or want to do to overcome your challenges that keep you from making your relationship with God a priority?
- What would be the elements of a great solution for you?
- What could ensure that you take action?
- What tools or resources do you need to move forward?
- What if any accountability will help you take the action you need to give God more of you than you give to other relationships in your life?
- What new thinking or awareness are you sensing, feeling, or going to act on?
A Relationship With God Is Always a Good Fit
“No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”Romans 8:39 NLT
Relationships that are one-sided are usually never a good fit or a good thing for the one that is doing all the heavy lifting. And, typically that means that they will eventually give up and move on. But rest assured, God will never give up on you and He will never move on from you.
“Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you.”James 4:8 NLT
Rick Warren said in his book The Purpose Driven Life, that “You are as close to God as you choose to be…[and] that it won’t happen by accident. It takes desire, time and energy…[and] if you want a deeper, more intimate connection with God you must learn to honestly share your feelings with him, trust him when he asks you to do something, learn to care about what he cares about and desire his friendship more than anything else.” (p.94)
I know we all go through seasons of life where it’s a little more crowded and full than we need or want and time with God gets put off. And, I know there have been times where we’ve been passionate about our relationship with God and spending time with him, but then life got in the way and we’ve lost our desire to be with Him.
But, we get to choose. And today is a new day. And the God of the universe is present and waiting and He deserves more than breadcrumbs.