The Power of Two

⁹ Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. ¹⁰ If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

Eccelesiastes 4:9-10 NLT

Sitting on a bench outside the emergency room waiting to find out what was going on with my husband’s chest and gut pains and not able to go inside due to COVID, I kept myself busy for the 3-4 hour wait outside by listening and watching all the other people who were waiting outside for their loved ones.

With no change in the scenery there, I took to looking at social media and then scrolled through my emails. I came across an email from a former coaching client. She was a young mom of four littles, referred to me by a friend and she was looking to dream big and make some significant life and career changes.

As I read her email, it took my mind off of my current circumstances and gave me joy to hear the plans she had decided on for herself. As part of those plans this is what she wrote to me in her email:

I have designated you as my mentor Lol. Hope that’s okay? Having one isn’t a requirement, but I am your padawan (Star Wars term), and you are my Jedi. I will not bombard you and will respect your time and schedule. Just want to give you updates from time to time. 

Former Client JM

Why Every Padawan Needs a Jedi

Full disclosure here, I’m not a Star Wars fan so I had to look up what a Padawan and Jedi are. If you don’t know like me – here you go. A Padawan is a learner, an apprentice of a Jedi. In our terms a padawan can be a mentee, a disciple, a coachee, or a student. A Jedi is the mentor, discipler, coach or teacher.

As you read in my friends email to me – having a mentor for what she was about to embark on was not a requirement but it was so important to her, that she designated one. She gets the power of two and she wants it. So why does every padawan, need a Jedi?

They need and want someone to believe in them. Barna (the leading research organization between faith and culture) show that only one in three young people (32%) say that someone believes in them. They want someone (other than their parents or friends) to see that they have value and worth and that they can do good and great things.

They want meaningful relationships with other adults. They need a safe place to work through all that is going on in our world and culture, in their family of origin, and with their other significant relationships and they want meaningful guidance that allows them to understand their faith and culture better and how they intersect.

They want someone who has walked the journey before them. Whether it is a relational journey, a faith journey, a career path, wherever they may be at, they are drawn to those who have gone before them and can help them navigate the ups and downs of the journey.

They crave and need encouragement. They want to know how they can positively contribute to society. Those that know the value of the power of two desire this and once they have had it, they are more likely to recreate that relationship with others.

The Call to the Power of Two

“Pass on what you have learned.”

Yoda, Star Wars Legendary Jedi Master

More than Yoda and passing on what you have learned, scripture teaches us to invest our energies in training the younger women to live Godly lives. (Titus 2:3-4). Which means that for the power of two to be effective, there must be a nurturing relationship built on trust, vulnerability, transparency, and a genuine love for the other person.

The call isn’t to make them our project. It is a call to make an investment into another woman’s life to enrich her spiritually and personally. It is a call to affirm, and to encourage and to help them learn how to build right relationships with God and others.

The fact that God has entered into a relationship with us should radically change the way we relate to others. The power of two helps us to change the unhealthy ways removing the barriers we may have in place in relating to others. And, it helps us identify those established patterns of behavior to make the necessary changes to relate better to others.

Our younger women are growing up in a culture where they have not seen very many enduring relationships. The power of two helps them to see the biblical vision of enduring relationships and how important it is to reflect Christ in all our relationships.

The Blessing of Connecting

The research tells us that younger women desire the power of two. They long to be nurtured. They want the love and acceptance of someone who has walked a little further down the road of life. They are watching and they are looking for someone to be that for them. Some will have the courage to ask for it like my former client did and some won’t. But what you can do is start with prayer. Ask God who He would want you to connect with and then watch for His prompting.

This means you may have to step out of your comfort zone and engage in conversation, asking good questions and intentionally looking to find who it is God wants and has for you to invest in.

I get it everyone is busy, you have your own kids and family to invest in, but there are women out there who don’t have anyone who believes in them, encourages them or who can equip them to learn how to grow their relationship with God and others.

The blessings are HUGE for both for you. Not only will they grow but you will too! You will learn so much from each other and your relationship with God will be strengthened. It’s a win win!

The Ultimate Purpose of the Power of Two

No earthly relationship will meet all of our needs.

Susan Hunt, Spiritual Mothering

The relationship in the power of two is not the ultimate purpose. God’s glory is the premier purpose of the power of two. God is the starting point and He is the model and reference point for all of life and we have been created to glorify Him. Fulfilling our purpose through the power of two by investing in and enriching the lives of other women is how we can glorify God.

What’s Next?

My husband was released from the hospital about 7 hours later, with no heart problems (thankfully!), just some gut health issues that got out of control and were serious enough to warrant a trip to the ER. We were grateful for his care even though I couldn’t be in the hospital with him at the time and I was thankful for the email from my former client who knew she needed and wanted a Jedi and had the courage to ask.

If you are looking to be the one invested in (a padawan), I pray God give you the courage to make the ask like my former client did to me. If you are looking for someone to invest in (a Jedi), my encouragement to you is to pray, watch and step out of your comfort zone, engage in conversation to begin a relationship, and continue to nurture your own relationship with the Lord and He will equip and encourage you as you wait on His timing to begin a relationship.

If this is hard for you and I were coaching you, here are some questions I would ask you:

What keeps you from initiating a mentoring/discipling relationship?

What is hindering you from investing in relationships with other women?

What challenges/barriers/obstacles keep you from investing in relationships with other women?

Do you have relationships with women in different life stages?

What have you learned about God that you wish you had known when you were a younger woman?

I am so thankful for how I have benefited over the years from the power of two. When I was a young mom, going to a Bible study at my church, several of the older women encouraged me and equipped me and I still have one of the books they gave me called: Martha’s Prayer Book. I’ll never forget their love, their grace and their life lessons they shared with me. I pray that for you.

Jackie