I can recall an embarrassing time when my mind was so caught up in being noticed by someone in authority, that I forgot my friends name as I went to introduce her. Not only did I forget her name, but I gave her a name so as not to lose the moment of engagement with the more influential person.
Her surprised expression brought me back to reality and I apologized for introducing her by the wrong name. She was very gracious about it and I was totally embarrassed by my need to be noticed.
My need to be noticed took over.
I admit there was some selfish ambition going on because I wanted this person in authority to know me and remember me. And he would now, but not in the way I would have wanted. He’ll never forget the lady who introduced her friend and gave her the wrong name!
When we let our need to be noticed take over, we’ve made it all about us.
Make It About Christ
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”Philippians 2:3-4
Had I been counting my friend more significant than myself, I would have remembered her name! I would have been looking to her interests and even the interest of the person whose attention I so desperately wanted more than my own. Ugh!
Sometimes we don’t even know why we do the things we do. Had I introduced my friend correctly, I wouldn’t have thought twice about the fact that I was trying to get noticed and be more significant than my friend in the eyes of the person I was trying to impress.
It definitely was an embarrassing moment I wont forget, but it became more than that. It opened my eyes to see my selfishness, my desire to be seen and noticed above all else, to making it all about me rather than my friend.
And making it all about me means I’m not making it about Christ in my life. I’m not pointing others to Jesus by living and loving like Him.
Love The Process
These kinds of moments are reminders that making it all about Christ is a process. We have to learn (learner is one of my top 5 Strength Finders!) to die to our selfish desires. And this is hard! Old habits and patterns of behaviors are hard to break. The needs (notice me) that trump our values (making others more significant than ourselves) drive our behaviors (forgetting my friends name!).
Welcome the embarrassment if it means awareness to your desire to make it all about you.
Love the process of dying to self. I’m confident I still have a ton of selfishness in me. But I am aware. I know if I embarrass myself again, God is getting my attention and hopefully transformation will take place deep within my heart.